Year in Review: US Politics of 2015

Barney Saunders is not the kind of a man you wanna mess with. He wears his suits like a male model. The kind of model in a display window, that isn’t actually a model at all, but more of a wooden

clothes horse with just a proper-looking head stuck on the top of it. This part-time scarecrow is drawing the crowds like Syrians coming to Germany.

JFK was the first ten-in-a-bed president. “Ten-in-a-bed” of course refers to large Catholic Irish families, who would have to fit ten children in one bed in the Rare Aul Times. I dunno what you’re thinking of, you pervy fruits!

Obama is the first Dothraki-Khaleesi-Klingon-Coptic-Hindo unholy pope from the Kenyan-Malaysian archipelago.

BUT could Barney be…
The first COMMUNIST president?

“¡No, no, no!” insists his staunchest opponent, former Secretary of State Madeleine Lewinsky. “¡I’LL

be the next communist president! I will be ANYTHING.”
“Okay, I’m just gonna inject you with this Windex, Madeleine!”
“¡I don’t mind! I will do ANYTHING to win (but I won’t do that).”

On the flip side – if he turns his head suddenly – you have Mr ****face Fartman. Old ****face gurns and pouts and loses the run of himself. He inherited his wealth from a man who was possibly in the KKK in the 1920s, Fred Fartman LX. In fact, the evidence suggests that there’s far more likelihood that Fred Fartman was in the KKK than there is that Ben Carson is “like a child molester.”

Starting out with little more than a couple of hundred million, this Lincoln-like Old ****face now has a string of golf clubs around the world, which he maintains better than the hair on his head.

He talks about women being ugly like as though he’s a catch. He points the finger, all very angry, and screams “You’re Fayed!” He speaks badly of people. He speaks badly. But he does have a property portfolio, and huge successes following all his bankruptcies. And the Fartman Towers. And the golf courses.

So if Old ****face gets in and he’s brought to book like Hitler was, he will also be hiding out in a bunker.

Leave a Reply